Tuesday, January 6, 2009


Have you ever watched the movie that came out the summer of 2007 called "Ratatouille"?
If you have, did it do anything to you besides make you laugh and feel hungry? I've just been thinking about it again and want to ruminate on it a bit.
Actually, rather then me saying too much... think of us as being the young boy who doesn't know how to "cook" and the Holy Spirit of God being like Remy. I so long for God to "cook" through me, to delight folks with Himself! As in the movie, there is much temptation to take the credit for the good things that come from our lives when Christ is in us. But... there is huge freedom that Satan doesn't want us finding out about, in being content to be a vessel, to in fact be nothing, but available.
As at the wedding in Cana, let's hear the words of Mary to the servants, "Whatever He says to you, that do." No more, no less.
I want to confess that in my life God has convicted me over and over of doing more than He says. Therein lies the potential for self righteousness!!!
Major W. Ian Thomas says that "responsibility does not rest heavily on a dead persons shoulders". Our "government" (what governs me) needs to rest on whose shoulders?
In all the issues that I face, here at home with my children, cooking meals, keeping everyone dressed and combed, cleaning house, homeschool, training children, relationships, being the wife and mother that God wants me to be, God wants me to let it all rest on His shoulders. In seeking Him, being dead, yet nevertheless living and moving and having my being in Him, I will find all I need to fulfill each task/position.
I want to state, here before all of you as witnesses, that I choose God. I will not depend on my own strength. I will not find my identity in whether my house is clean or cluttered, whether I am hospitable, efficient or not, organized or disorganized. I will not care what people think, only about who I am in Your eyes, Father. I will submit to You, as You continue to reveal to me all that needs to be surrendered to You. You will be my "unit study", not only in homeschooling my children, but in all of my life. I will trust You to be able and willing to to live through me, to be the wife my husband needs me to be, to love and raise my girls at Your moment by moment leading. I place my fears, my hopes, my needs, my lacks, my knowledge, in Your hands, to sift and do with as You will. You are my God. I want to be to You, a people. I want to be the chick that will come under Your wings and abide there. You have already proved Yourself to me more than I could ever deserve! I choose to depend on You! I owe my life to You, quite literally. All I am, or ever hope to be must come from You. I do not seek to be virtuous, except with the virtue that flows out from You. Let me lose my life and find it, Lord, in You, in continually deeper measure. I choose to walk humbly with You, no matter what! I believe in you, help Thou mine unbelief! I am amazed by Your mercy, astonished by Your patience, overwhelmed by Your lovingkindness. I am grateful for Your forgiveness, strengthened by Your joy, in awe of the grace You extend to me. I am forever indebted to Your faithfulness. OH GOD! Why me!?! Why are You so lavish with me? Your goodness is too much for me to comprehend!
May Your kingdom be forever established in my heart, yours to rule! I give You my allegiance, now and always. I covenant my self to You. Please never let me be the boss.

I never knew this post would end up being what it is... but God! There are no more words, only tears...

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