Saturday, January 17, 2009

Happy Birthday, Carolie!

Dear Carolie Joy, January 17, 20o9
Happiest of Birthdays to you!
For nine months you occupied my womb. The miracle of it still amazes me. Then you were here occupying my arms and lap. You felt so good! Your life was a message from God to me, to trust Him always, and no matter what, to hope in Him!
For 17& 1/2 months, I called you mine.
You are still here, just not in my arms anymore. You are where you've always been for 11 years and 9 months, in my heart. You took up permanent residence there, for all eternity.
Have you seen Cal? I asked him, if he saw you, to give you hugs and kisses from me.
I'm so glad Jesus has you in His care. I'm so glad God shared you with me. Holding you and letting you go has effected me. Your leaving was a message too.
As much as I long to feel your heartbeat, that's how much God longs to feel His heartbeat in me, for me to truly live!
I am determined not to waste your life - to get God's message, to fulfill His longing! I know one day He will fulfill mine too.
I miss you so much.
Love forever and always,

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Fraccion Trash said...

I have to say that was an amazing little jewel in the middle of all of my RSS feeds, haven't cried like that in a while. Love you sis forever and always.

Coriander said...

Wonderful post, Janelle! You have been a shinning light to me and many others, I'm sure, in the way you have walked the painful path of loss. You have been open and honest about the hurt while remaining so faithful,holding fast to Jesus. What an encouragement to the rest of us!

Much love,

Amber said...

Great post Janelle! I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child but hope that shall this face me I can cling to Jesus through it all as you have. He is seen so clearly in you as your faith is unshaken despite tragedy. Thank you for being a testimony of God's amazing ability to uphold His children no matter what they face.