Conundrums and Rest

The sun is shining brightly on a new day, and yet for me, today is a day of remembering...

Today my firstborn daughter would be a teenager.

I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster ride. Yesterday we heard the heartbeat of the baby in my womb. It is the sound of LIFE, yet still a life that is never ours to control, or keep as our own. It is a gift, to be lovingly held for as much time as we are given.

This winter I have been puzzling over the blessing and brevity of life. It seems like every few days we hear of some new joy or sorrow, in this endless cycle of life and death.

Like the death of an almost-two-year old that was born with a heart defect... then the birth of a daughter to a couple who have longed and waited for a baby for years...

Answers to prayers come in all shapes and size, sometimes joyfully and sometimes most painfully, but always accompanied by GRACE.

I have not arrived at any concrete conclusions in my pondering of all this...only that life is full of conundrums that we may never grasp. The thing is, God, who made each of us, knows us and knows what completes us, and He is committed to complete the good work He has begun in us.

He also NEVER leaves us comfort-less.

Today the girls are excited to celebrate Carolie's birthday. It is a special occasion, even to them, who never met her. We will make some special foods and maybe watch home videos of her... watch her bottle feed the baby deer in Bolivia...scolding it and smacking it's head every time it butts her over... and laugh like we always do. There'll be tears too. My cheeks feel like a well-watered garden already. But I'm so glad God gave her to us! It is worth the pain.

I am so glad that Jesus thought we were worth His pain. Ours pales in comparison.

"Thou hast made us for Thyself, and our heart is restless 'til it rests in Thee." - Augustine

New Beginnings

It's about time to post an update on here! I had a couple of drafts I intended to post, but sometimes if I can't quite put into words what I want to say, and if it doesn't feel right to me, there it sits until I feel ruthless and delete.

December was full... Chloe and Abigail had their birthdays, which we celebrated by having a tea party. Abi is four years old now! She strives to keep up with her big sisters in all things.

When I was shopping for her birthday, I asked her what is her favorite thing to play with.

After some time, she said, "Mommy, my favorite thing to play with is my sisters!"

Chloe is six years old. She is discovering the joys of reading, this winter. Also, she and Hadassah spend as much time as possible playing outside if there is any snow. We have clean fresh snow blanketing the ground again today!

Chloe wanted these pink snowballs instead of birthday cake this year, which was a blessing for this morning sick mom! Also special because they were a favorite of my Dad's!

Yes, one of the new beginnings for us is the expected arrival of a baby in July!

We are most excited, since there are miscarriages in my past. I am now in the beginning of the 15th week, and so far there have been no complications. The girls are tickled at the thought of a baby in the house. It will be a bit different for me, having older children to help. Last time my oldest was 6, with a 4 year old, and a 2 year old. Damaris will be 11 the same month the baby is due, and the others will be 8, 6, and 4. I am already gearing towards using their help a bit more than I have been. There are simple things they are learning to cook, etc. that will be a welcome assistance with a newborn in the family!

Another new beginning is that Damaris has started taking piano lessons. Our closest neighbor lady offered to start teaching her what she knows, which is very sweet of her and convenient for us! We just trudge up over the hill. On these snowy days, we don't need to venture down our hill, nor up her even longer one.

It seems like 2010 flew by on swift wings. We have before us an uncharted year. It will be interesting to see what events the grace of God will see us through, what new joys and old hopes are fulfilled in the days ahead. I'm just so glad that mercies are new every morning!

May our days be numbered by the many blessings of being saved on a daily basis, growing into the image of our precious Lord Jesus!